Some of us believe in soul-mates. Some people even believe that they have found their soul-mate. So what happens if we never meet him or her? If we are all searching for that special someone who fits in with our idea of a soul-mate, then we could be waiting a very long time.
This process takes time and life is short. It’s possible that we are turning down dates with people who don’t fit our dream of a soul-mate. We could also be spending time with someone who is completely wrong for us, all the while convincing ourselves that this person is the one. Scott Stanley on Boundless Ezine states that the criteria people set in terms of a perfect soulmate could be expectations going overboard or a case of dangerous thinking.
Our Perfect Life Partner
The idea that there is one perfect person out there for all of us is ridiculous. We would have had a better chance at real love and perhaps finding our soul-mate if we were dating in the 1950’s or the 1960’s, given in those days couples were encouraged to take things slow and court each other. However in today’s world, most of us want it all and we want it now. We have all usually had a few serious relationships by the time we hit our thirties and most of us have been married at least once.
What happens if we break up with the person we think is our soul-mate? Or they die? It does happen. Marriages and relationships fall apart all the time. We commit to someone who we believe is the one person we are destined to be with and it falls apart. For some of us it could mean we consider giving up on love especially if we truly believe we have just lost our soul-mate. Or perhaps we come to the realization that this person is not our soul-mate or the whole idea of soul-mates is ridiculous.
Your Soulmate May Not Be Your Lover
Our soul-mate does not necessarily have to be our lover. It could be a close friend or our best friend. There is also the possibility that we meet several people throughout our lives that become our soul-mate. Many people in love relationships define their love for each other in many different ways; for example many couples believe that they are best friends as well as lovers. And some couples don’t remarry if they lose their life partner; this is totally a personal choice for everyone.
We are all capable of finding and developing a deep and intimate connection without claiming to have found our soulmate. There is after all, no such thing as a perfect partner or someone who is perfect for you. Perfection is a myth. Every human being has flaws and we choose our life partner and close friends based on pro’s and cons. A very wise person once told me; if the good outweighs the bad in your friendship/relationship then you stick it out. If you can honestly say that you are happy most of the time, then your relationship is worth fighting for.
A soul-mate is many things to many people; not necessarily a perfect partner. A soulmate could be a best friend, a family member, your child, or a lover/spouse. My soulmate is my cousin who lives three hours away. We grew up together, and have shared many good and bad times in the last forty odd years and she is someone who is special to me in a way that is different to anyone else in my life.
Whether you believe that your partner is your soulmate or not, your relationship does not work because this person is your soulmate. All relationships require work, commitment, trust and many other things to ensure their survival.
References:
Boundless Ezine – Accessed 23 December 2011
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